We always make happy lists of the things we want to accomplish while we are advancing in life. These lists are usually full of hope and enjoyment. It might include traveling to somewhere nice, doing something fun, or even doing selfless acts toward the needy. I have one of these lists too, I like it and I’m crossing few items as the days go by. But I was wondering, how it would feel if I made another list, a dark black list, with the ugliest things I want to do if I had the chance. Remember, this is just fiction, it doesn’t mean that I’m planning to do these things for real.

1. There is this particular guy in my life that I meet occasionally and we spend sometime together faking laughs and he is the kind of people that you like when he is not around. Well, I want to strangle this son of a bitch with a wire, and hear him inhale his last breath.
2. I want to steal the most expensive car on earth, drive to fullest speed and crash in to a wall.
3. I want to be a chef in a well-known restaurant and poison the food of the rich mother-fuckers who strangle money out of the poor, watch them all have chronicle diarrhea. Only me have the key to the only bathroom in the place, which is surly locked.
4. I want to hack all TV –stations on earth and spend an entire year broadcasting my self talking about how fucked up is this world.
5. I want to take all optimistic dickheads around me, put them on a plane and land in Iraq, Africa, Afghanistan, and every single war zone and shithole on earth and see their fucken optimism evaporates.
6. I want to hold a fake gun, enter a crowded workplace, and force every single person to tell a dirty ugly dark secret about one of his coworkers. This is just to show how people trash you while you aren’t around.
7. I want to gather all the women of the world, and place a small collar around their necks that sends a massive electrical shock whenever they nag their husbands.
8. I want to gather each and every child abuser in the world and cut off their hands if they have ever beaten a kid, cut off their tongues if they ever verbally abused a kid, and finally, cut their penises off if they ever raped a kid.
9. I want to laterally destroy every single human being that racially profiled a person, according to the tone of his skin or his ethnic background.
10. I want to group all the shallow empty self-centered Paris Hilton-like spoiled son of a bitch in the world and spank their asses with a piece of rusty piece of metal ( with skewed nails in it) soaked in salt and spice.
11. I want to gather those who stole money from an orphan and burn them alive, save them and burn them again.
12. I want to steal all the bullets in the world, melt them all together and make one hard rod and stick it up the asses of those who sell weapons to terrorist.
13. I want to group all socially-dead bookworm calculator-lovers nerds in the globe, throw to them a three pages-long impossible-to-solve Chinese Algebra math problem and watch them spend the rest of their lives fighting over the only calculator I’ll provide, which in fact has no batteries.

Well, this is just a short list. Start writing down your black-list, boy it makes you feel better.
- Music I’m listening to while writing this list: Marlon Manson (Metal singer), and Apocalyptica (music of aggressive violins mixed with merciless rock guitar)